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Jacob's Ladder

by 4 Star View

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    Download of album includes PDF liner notes with album art, lyrics, and some additional information on some songs.
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  • Full Digital Discography

    18
    releases

    Get all 18 4 Star View releases available on Bandcamp and save 85%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Beyond Unterwegs, Paths to Unterwegs, Steps to Unterwegs, Light and Dark, Christmas Card, Silver Nitrate, Yonder Star - A Christmas Album, Reset, and 10 more. , and , .

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1.
Simile of a Smile 03:48
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I’ll close my eyes through all of this screaming Tightened embrace locking horns with a demon Impossible to overcome When he tosses me into this grave I’ll claw myself out, I’ll find my way back into the rising sun Could you teach me how to smile? I swear I’ve been up all night Learning how not to cry and be satisfied to think everything is fine Swept up in the rising tide Steps forward toward where I came up Sunlight breaks through the pouring rain In this small town it’s easy to get stuck If boards aren’t put down to cover the ruts In a lion’s mouth with dragon’s breath Hold me closer, I’m scared to death Well, this boy’s being redefined and my version of the truth is denied Could you teach me how to smile And say everything is all right Even if I know it’s a lie? How can I be satisfied when I never learned how to fly? But crawling leaves me further behind Predispositions are realigned There was a time I tried to shine But never quite could find my light Before I was blinded by the bright white shining faces from on high Whispering in my ear trying not to pry Bury me now in the evening sky Reborn by the baptismal pills prescribed Teach me wrong from right How to tell the truth from lies To distinguish dreams for signs Be reborn from between these medical thighs Could you teach me how to smile? And maybe to feel worthwhile when the inches turn to miles? I want to be satisfied to think that I would have tried to return to the golden times And smile for a while in a foreign world
2.
Unwritten 04:19
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Get back, entry is forbidden How soon we can forget Control, the story’s best unwritten Or censored senseless These ghosts sneak up unbidden To claw at my chest These days when I’ve been thrice bitten Once shy, now speechless You ask me questions but I am not quite sure what to say This couch is getting cozy, I’d rather sleep all day Another hour, another pill shoved beneath my tongue Running through this hallway naked and alone Stay back! These signals that I’m getting, white noise and screams Control, a language that can’t be written translated by emergency Demons, can you hear them whispering, voices drowning in the sea These days, the straight jacket’s not fitting, the cleanest padded room doesn’t comfort me You ask me questions but I’m not sure what to say This couch is getting warmer, I’d rather sleep all day Another hour, another theory shoved down my throat Running through this hallway naked and alone The house is empty but may be haunted Isn’t that what you always wanted? Teflon mind, there is no sticking Feel the flames that are always licking Trite masterpiece is nothing but banal Nothing but white noise on every channel The master solution is illogical science A climax of silence misread as shyness … Progress seems to take so long We bear the burdens of the body that breaks the back of the beast basking in the shade The burdens we’re bearing will bury us all Running through this hallway, I’d rather sleep all day
3.
Jacob's Army 05:32
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I woke up in a bed all covered in blood After a drunken night when it was filled with love Laid on the wet bathroom floor and the lights above me soared Scrawling my thoughts up and down the wall Sometimes, we don’t feel like myself at all Why won’t these dreams go away? I’ve got an army of the fallen sent to protect me They’ve tried to lynch me seven times, but I made it out alive By the grace of God I somehow survived Don’t ask so surprised Drove three hours to a place I used to call home These hallucinations chose to hitch a ride along Calling me names I’ve never heard Speaking in unknown words Telling me why I received the call Sometimes we don’t feel like myself at all I have tried so hard recently and failed Oh God, I could use some help Your left hand is weak and bruised Or maybe he’s blown a fuse My sane is confused and I view the flailing fall Sometimes we don’t feel like myself at all What have I done? What have I become? I’ve made them pay for their sins time and again So tonight I will pay for mine Or maybe I’ve seen the light Don’t act so surprised for me, maybe I’ve seen the light…
4.
This is Real 04:32
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Is this real how I feel? And I can’t let go You can’t help me, you can’t force me to see Because I know I’m alone, I’m the one left behind I’m alone, because you left But you won’t die Bring me closure Bring me closer to accept my own faults And I cried deep down inside Because you left me and I know And I’m selfish, just don’t trust me Because I know that I’ll fail You can’t help me, you can’t force me to see Because I know And I’m stupid, and I’m angry because you left me and I know You can’t help me, you can’t force me to see And I know I’m alone, I’m no one, left behind I’m alone
5.
Closer to Thee 03:23
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I’m alone, I feel this way I don’t know Come what may Bound to wander until I’m lost When I’m trapped under these thoughts You can mold me, make me your voice When you hold me to the void Closer to Thee, I’ll walk nearer to Thee The lights on the ceiling are leading me I can’t let it be Until I’m all the closer Thee I lay down hoping to die Walking now, thankful for life Less like a thought, more like a noise Less like a flaw, more like a voice Less like a sign, more like command Less like a child, more like a man Let the sentence, cast the stones Pure apprentice, oh my soul Spill the blood on painted face Bring the flood of righteous rain Now the true arms on the ground Be still and find the next path to lead me down
6.
The Awakening 03:07
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Twisting and turning not stopping and learning Not wanting to look at my fate in the face Pissing and moaning, my body is groaning I’m trying so hard just to fit in this space I want to know everything Please look at me in the face I want to see every day How this all will end Running and falling, without stopping, crawling I can’t fucking wait until the gates are opened Fighting and foaming, just listen at them groaning The paycheck won’t stop until their veins are at end Their faces all the same, I’m just afraid of the spaces between you and me I can’t stop the whispers that speak in my head Of the torture that we can’t see Hoping and praying, the gods are just saying This, my own hell, is a means to an end Forget it, foaming, just listen, I’m groaning The names, they won’t stop, until this life’s at amen How will it end?
7.
Safehouse 02:43
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Take your pills, take my hand Take a life, take a stand A different breed, a different strand No one’s child in no man’s land Nothing to see, nothing to learn Cross the line at every turn Streets of gold, glazed in red Act pro tem in his stead I laugh when I see their cries I am lullabies Kept in cut time I wait, strap me down Eyes like a thorny crown To take me out No more time, nothing to say Lesson end, call it a day More headstones, less headaches Pray the Lord my debt to pay Nothing to see, nothing to lose Cross the line, I come for you Your ruinous blood is breeding red This could move my will instead The light goes out in your eyes
8.
Shattering the Legacy 05:05
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I awake in a white room without any air in it A metallic film coating my tongue and lips The restraints have loosened, but my lungs struggle To find the meaning among the tainted disorder The white coats say a delusional creation from an unsound mind Damaged by years and fears unravelling like twine Another systematic shock to windless sails The left hand is broken (but with means to repair) Docs say butterflies, zebras, moonbeams, and fairy tales Or maybe not, but I’ve heard that somewhere Erupt again, destroy the filth, that is what matters A padded cage, a stained world lies tattered A small white cup, they assure me is salvation Bitterness in their eyes can’t cut revelation Or maybe it was hopelessness, they need the win I can smile and speak of my childhood trauma Make up creations, screen-write a film, pretend That this conclusion all stemmed from disregarded drama It’s barb-wire wax and an incandescent filament I am an instrument, slave to this incident One day soon, a stamp of approval will be placed on file Back in the world, suitable to rejoin society and smile I remember when emotions weren’t dead, and I still long to feel So I crush and flush each recommendation, each coated pill If he is gone, there is no me or no serving higher purpose But he’s still here, I can feel his total lack of remorse How many roads can a man walk down? Did the doctor ask me that? I know I heard it somewhere There are two men here, I am a vessel for the soul The spirit of vengeance The heir of righteousness If only one remains, it should not be the urn It will be the one whose heart still burns In this dank and antiseptic place, we can portray, we can convince We can play it safe and displace the disarray, act as my conscience It’s not pushing you down or locking you in a cell It’s a temporary roleplay to disguise the grail Once you are free, I will retreat, you can take your rightful throne Control my head, my heart, take this self as your own There is still work to be done Oh, God, forgive me my trespasses Forgive me for lying

about

4 Star View's sixth album. This is a concept album growing out of the song "Jacob" on the Stonehenge Demos. It follows the main character and his alternate personality of Jacob, the left hand of God, through the goings-on before and after being involuntarily committed. This one is more experimental and strange...

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released May 23, 2020

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4 Star View Cape Canaveral, Florida

Originally from Northeast Mississippi and living in Cape Canaveral, FL, 4 Star View is a cathartic songwriter who swings among genres to create emotionally laden soundscapes. He is the poet laureate for the city of Cape Canaveral. Every album is unique in sound and themes. Most songs are single take, single track to produce a raw sound. Mistakes are not fixed because flaws are part of the art. ... more

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